When we first set out for this road trip, I had a picture on my phone of a girl reading a book in the woods with her teardrop trailer in the background. It was what I had envisioned this trip to be like. I deleted it after one week of being on the road with Flo because we had been fighting the weather, making repairs, and simply trying to figure out where we would sleep or eat next. I didn’t want to be reminded of such a romanticized image that would never come true for me. It wasn’t until Ray finally got the chance to fly fish on the Arkansas River (months later) that I got a taste of that original vision. I spent the first full day just working and catching up. Reading a backlog of emails, finalizing a deliverable from the LetterWorks conference, writing to the “Level Up Your Lettering” students about how to prep for our upcoming class in August. (Pssst, there is still room in this virtual class. Click here to learn more.) It was fun to post a few images on my Instagram feed and catch up with the Victoria, BC meetup on Facebook and share out a quick lettering video with other Neuland Ambassadors.
Then on day two after I woke up early to scrum with the Visioneering team, I went back to bed and took a long nap. I woke up, had lunch and started writing, reading, listening to podcasts and TED talks, drawing, practice my lettering, and made some sun tea.
Since last week’s post was really short, I have had people asking me to post all the “pit stops” and places we see. If you are interested, you can certainly check out my Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook feeds (personal and artist page). This blog is more about me writing about my experience, pondering what all of this means to be on the road and the feeling we/I have about leaving the DC during a very tumultuous time to finding myself not following the news for months and learning what the United States is really like, how great it already was, and how everything can be okay and all screwed up at the same time.
I’ve written stories behind the posts, shared backstories with friends who want to know about specific people or places I’ve written about. I’ve even hopped on Periscope for live spurts of what’s happening in the moment.
Reflecting on and writing about what it’s really like—living life on the road—is what I want to go back and read a few months or years from now. I’ve really enjoyed listening to “My Life on the Road” by Gloria Steinem. When I read a few of our first posts from back in February and March, WOW! What a different place emotionally and mentally I was in. I was still trying to hold onto the knowledge I gained by working closely with the Visioneers while trying to forget and let go of the stress and trauma of living and working in the most resistant place I’ve ever been. There is so much good in the world and I just wasn’t feeling it in DC—the one place that should reflect and represent the diversity and the entire population of this country. When I was there, I was always torn between bringing my best, authentic self and trying to connect and empathize—doing so just left me feeling drained and compromised.
Life on the road is different and working from the road is also different. By creating a new space everyday, being challenged by the elements and circumstances, and meeting new people who value what I bring, I am able to stay in a balanced state of “Flow” = challenge + skill level. I’m also working on a vision for myself, my family, and for future work to bring all of my skills into one orchestrated work/life situation. I know it will take years to develop and perfect. What drives me is what I can accomplish in the time I am given. That can be in a simple task that is time-boxed or in the larger picture of life. I often ask myself what my legacy will be (keep in mind I don’t have children) or what will my obituary say? Some of you who have known me for a while understand because I have held a variety of jobs, even created a few of my own and have tried so many things. What I don’t want to do is live with deep regrets. I have a few already and I’m trying to minimize those. Taking the time to be on the road has given me a perspective that I couldn’t have gotten had I stayed in DC or even stayed in Durango in the first place. One of my favorite TED talk videos that inspires my thinking is Jane McGonigal’s “The Game that can give you 10 extra years of life” My Visioneering colleagues helped me see the importance of playing games. We even used “Massively Multi-Player Thumb Wrestling” as an energizer in our leadership and team offsites! Which can be found in Jane’s other TED talk with the same name. I have found Jane to be a big inspiration in my life and her game SuperBetter helped me heal from my own brain injury in 2009.
I love this death-bed regret she shares:
“I wish I’d led a life true to my dreams, and not what others expected of me.”
So while what I am doing may not make total sense to some of my family members, co-workers and friends, I know that by taking this adventure I won’t have to live (or die) with this regret. And I’d like to believe that we all can appreciate what it takes to make changes or things happen in our lives so that we may lead a life true to our dreams.
Being on the road has meant living more in the moment, a.k.a. “flexing my ‘P'”—an MBTI term for being more Perceiving than Judging. My perception of and interaction with the outer world has changed and while I still maintain a high-level of “J” internally, going on this adventure has had a great influence on my inner thoughts as well.
As I find myself “retrograding” back to my hometown to return Flo and spend time with family, I can’t help but think of one of my favorite quotes (that I’m sure I have shared in different variations many times before):
“You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you.” — Heraclitus
I can already see how patterns of behavior can be changed, even longstanding ones with family members. This visit was fun! And still not done. We are heading to Arkansas for a folk festival for a few days so the adventure continues!